Discipline enables us to enter into, and be abandoned to, legitimate pleasure at the appropriate time. Lack of discipline leads to wrong pleasure being indulged in at the wrong time. A mistake Christians sometimes make is to reject the willful enjoyment of even that which is not inherently evil. The problem is not found in drinking deeply of delights that God Himself has created and ordained for us to experience. It is brought into being by indulging in a distorted version of those delights, things we do at the wrong time or in a wrong way. Such distortion usually comes when we decide to seek pleasure apart from any restraint; when we alone decide how and when we should have it. This is the definition of license, the undisciplined, wholly self-centered attempt to satisfy a God-given desire in a way that He forbids for our good. 

In American culture probably the most obvious example of this principle is in the area of human sexuality.

The spirit of times tells us that sexual gratification is a need rather than a want and that the “freedom” to engage in casual sex is our right. Yet not so long ago, before the vaunted ‘Sexual Revolution of the late 20^th Century, it was generally recognized by our society that reserving sex for marriage was the best, if not the only, way to express this aspect of our personhood. As our culture has progressively abandoned the pursuit of sexual self-discipline, and become enamored with the principle of instant gratification, what we do with our bodies has become a matter of personal choice. Today, every kind of sexual distortion that the Bible prohibits is at best winked at and at worst openly encouraged.

Unfortunately some in the ultra-Conservative wing of the Church have reacted to the world’s embrace of hyper-sexuality with an equally wrongheaded sexual asceticism. There are some fundamentalist Christians, for instance, who have published websites that go so far as to warn husbands and wives to abstain, even in the marriage bed, from indulging in what they consider to be ungodly sexual practices (one wonders if such self-proclaimed guardians of sexual propriety have ever seriously read the Song of Solomon). The impression given is that couples should not have too much fun enjoying their God-ordained conjugal rights. These extremists appear to regard all forms of sexual expression as almost a sort of “necessary evil” but marital sexuality, in its many forms, is in no way evil if not felt coercive or abusive by either partner. As Paul himself tells us, referring to this restrictive spirit:

“20If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as,21“Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” 22(which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? 23These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.” -Colossians 2:21-23 (NIV)

As the title of a recent Christian sex manual for married people rightly proclaims, this gift from God is “Intended for Pleasure.” Joyful abandonment to loving mutual gratification in the marriage bed is, in a sense, as much the will of God for us as is our abandonment to loving Him fully in the act of worship.

A pleasurable activity ordained by God only becomes a wrong activity when, through lack of self-discipline, a believer seeks that pleasure at the wrong time or in the wrong way; in short, apart from God’s clearly expressed will. It is the Lord’s own desire for us to deeply enjoy the good things He has given us. In fact the constraints He puts on us as to the timing and circumstance of that enjoyment are for our own good. Our God knows, far better than we, when His children are ready to receive the legitimate experiences of earthly ecstasy that he longs to give us.