No doubt the Apostle Paul observed the worst of marriages in the pre-Christian culture of Corinth.  One of his conclusions was, “…those who marry will face many troubles in this life…” (I Corinthians 7:28).  However, 2000 years later on Sunday morning, October 6, at True Life, all the married couples laughed in agreement with Paul.  In a fallen sinful world “troubles” are unavoidable.  Even the best of marriages are tricky and messy.  Why is that, and what can we do about it?  No simplistic answers here, but for followers of Christ here’s a big idea that could send you and your spouse in the direction of “oneness” which Jesus underscored as God’s intended purpose in a marriage:  “…the two will become one flesh…no longer two but one.” (Matthew 19:5-6).

After the wedding day and honeymoon, that drips with promises, romance and high expectations for a “happily ever after”, the reality of “two singles” becoming “one” sets in.  I call this reality the “clash of characters”.  The best marriages are never free of disagreement, misunderstanding, annoyance, forgetfulness, sin or forgiveness.  So what makes them the best marriages?  They respond to and resolve their clashes without injuring each other. How can this happen?

The blending of your characters is the key to oneness, and that is possible by the ministry of the Holy Spirit within you who, by the fruit of the Spirit, imparts to you both the virtues of Christ-like character when you live in, walk with and are led by the Spirit (Galatians 5).  This is oneness.  Remember, your character determines your behavior, and your behavior predicts the outcome!

Back to “troubles in marriage”.  Paul was right, but marriage can also keep you out of trouble.  For instance, my wife Sharon is a math “whiz kid”, while I can’t remember my Social Security number.  She has kept us out of the “jail house”!  On the other hand, she has no interest or knowledge of investing, but I do.  I have kept us out of the “poor house”!  We celebrate each other’s strengths and accept each other’s weaknesses.  This too is oneness!