"For here we do not have an enduring city, but we are looking for the city that is to come." Hebrews 13:14

While above is just a small portion of the reading plan passage for today, it struck me the most.

In the last two weeks, more than ever before in my lifetime (and arguably yours too, no matter your age), these verses carry weight. We are all feeling the tangible effects of the coronavirus (even just typing the word leaves me feeling unsure, because I know the great weight it carries for all those who read it and I fear adding to the anxiety rather than relieving it). Some of us have loved ones who are sick with the virus. Some of us have lost our jobs. All of us have lost varying degrees of the security we had just two weeks ago. Though any day ahead is never fully known to us, the last two weeks have been some of the most bewildering.

Speaking vulnerably, honestly, and knowing that God will use my words for his glory, I have to share that I have felt estranged from God in the last two weeks.That is not the norm for me in the season that I am in. The last year has been a season filled with joy, massive personal healing, and renewal in my life. I had been reading my bible more than ever, felt uplifted and empowered by my church community, and been less anxious than ever before. And then coronavirus hit.

Lord, let the walls fall. What "walls" have fallen around you lately? Hebrews 9-16 abstractly speaks to the overflowing of God's kingdom outside the walls of a temple as in the Old Testament. God's act of love in sacrificing his son for us demolished any need for a temple. I know that Jesus's sacrifice was real two-thousand years ago, it was real before coronavirus hit, and it will be real after...yet I've had moments throughout the last two weeks in which I have physically, emotionally, and spiritually felt overcome and defeated....as if I did not know this truth.(...and that is okay. Romans 8:1-2)

And while my own heart stubbornly battles itself, at the risk of sounding insensitive but with the wholehearted intent of pointing to His victory, Lord, I again ask that you would let the walls fall. Let the walls of my heart fall that I have built up in false security in the world around me..."for here, we do not have an enduring city". Let the current world circumstances be a reminder of the hope and victory you so freely give. Build up new walls in my heart. Build up a heart whose walls are fortified with endurance, peace beyond understanding and logic, and obedience in praying for your will to be done, even if it doesn't make sense to me right now. Build up the walls of my heart to keep being your hands and feet in our hurting, broken world. Let me not grow bitter but let my heart soften more and more, knowing just how good you are in this brokenness.

"We are looking for the city that is to come." The broken world that we live in is not what will be forever. It is not what our Father God, whose ways are not ours and whose thoughts are not our own, has in his ultimate plan for us. 

Hebrews 15 says, "Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise..." Now, more than ever, we can understand the sacrifice that it is to praise God continually...in every moment. Let us praise our Father in Heaven during this difficult season that is burdened with the coronavirus. Let us offer praise during this season of Lent that feels so unforgiving. Let us break through the walls that our broken world sets before us, and let us be living, breathing examples of Christ's victory.