I suspect that the beginning of our new series on “Fighting for Rest” this past Sunday convicted a lot of hearts, based on the number of hands raised (including my own) for prayer at the end of the message.

As in all messages some points make more of an impact on individual listeners than others. What especially spoke to me was the proposition that we must take our anxieties to God in prayer before we try to “seek God” in the sense of seeking him in order to know and love Him better. In fact Chris went so far as to say that “if your soul is not at rest, is it because you are not fighting against your distractions before God?” That line of thinking has a hearty “amen” from me as it got me to thinking about my own prayer life in a way I had not before.

As I look back on my Christian walk the times that my prayers have brought the most peace in my spirit have been after I was completely, painfully, and even angrily honest about how I really felt about whatever the struggles in my life were at that particular moment.

In fact, just recently, I was spending some time alone and trying to do some “centering prayer” to bring me into a some kind of sensed communion with God that I hoped would bring me felt peace.

It wasn’t working.

You see, I was dealing with a number of temporal and spiritual anxieties that day and I suddenly found myself audibly, quite audibly, “sharing” those stressors with the Lord. Frankly, it would not have sounded particularly reverent to anyone who might have been listening. I was “pouring out my complaint” as the scripture says and pouring it out in a pretty intense way.

When I was done I felt like a real burden had been lifted off my back in almost a physical way. It certainly had been in both the spiritual and psychological senses. What was left was the peace for which I had been looking, a peace that I believe included the kind about which our pastor was speaking.

I had not had this happen for a while and it felt good. I think, in fact, that it was good.

Our God knows our heart. He knows if we are anxious. He knows if we are stressed. He also knows if we are angry…including with Him. While I’m not suggesting that anger with a perfectly loving and just Being is ever justified I am suggesting that God is not insecure. He can handle His children’s anger, just as a mature and Godly parent can…only better.

So, by all means, seek God for Who He is. Seek Him in the sense of knowing Him just for the sheer sake of Knowing Him, but first deal with the things in your own heart, good or bad, with Him.

Otherwise I think it’s fair to say that you will not be able to get much beyond those things in coming to know God better in any real way.