the following is the written version of the sermon from October 15th; the audio file of that sermon was corrupted due to a power black-out during service. 

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THE PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE

We talk a lot about how the church is not the building or the event or the service, it’s the people.

The word church comes from the word ecclesia, which means "called out ones" or "called out assembly." It’s not the building, it’s not the Sunday service. We don’t go to church, we go to be with the church.

But let’s face it -- sometimes don’t you wish it was the building? Don’t you wish that it was just the service?

Because the people just tend to dissapoint us.

I have a friend (he’s actually a doctor I see, but we were friends first) who had been part of another local church.  A couple weeks back I asked him how his church was, and he said he hadn’t been there since Easter. I asked him why. He wasn’t sure, spoke in vague terms. I asked him if he had checked out any churches since then. He said only one, that past Sunday actually. He said he liked it. I said good. Go back.

So this past Monday I went to see him again, and I asked him if he’s been back to that church. He said  "No. I liked it, but no." So I said to him, "You’re kind of done getting close to peole, aren’t you?" And he said, "You know, that’s exacty how I feel." 

It wasn’t special supernatural insight that I had; I guessed that because I hear that a lot from people.

Especially lately. People are hurt. By other people.

Here is a list of descriptions that I have heard from people about how they feel in relation to other family members and friends and church community; do any of them resonate with you? 

People just always let me down, so what’s the point in getting close to them?

I’m always the one initiating getting together with others, nobody ever initiates getting together with me.

People always just want to vent to me about their problems, but they never care about how I’m doing.

I feel invisible.

I have no real close friends.

I guess I’m not as close to that person as I thought I was.

What’s the point of having that conversation? Nothing is going to be reconciled.

Everyone else seems to get along really well, but I’m on the outside.

When people do talk to me, I can tell they’re being phony.

Church would be so much better if it wasn’t for the people.

Anything resonate? 

Yeah, people have this tendency of making our happiness go away, don’t  they?

So for part 6 of Holy Happiness -- here’s my point:

Stay away from people, and you will be happier.

If you’re married, get divorced. If you have kids, give them up for adoption. If you are dating, break it off. If you have friends, tell them you’re moving and change your identity. And if you are part of True Life church, leave immediately.

That certainly feels like the best solution sometimes, doesn’t it?

But then Jesus goes and says something like this at the Last Supper:

John 13:34-35

34 A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another, even as I have loved you, that you also love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.”

Why a new commandment? God’s people were told to love each other already.

'New’ comes from the Greek word kainen, whichh is a word that  implies freshness, or the opposite of ‘outworn’ rather than simply ‘recent’ or ‘different.’” 

The command to Love is not new, but to the extent that Jesus loved us - by going to the cross - that is a fresh understanding of an old command. Even as I have loved you. -- not as you love yourself. Jesus loves us better than we can love ourselves. To love your neighbor as you love yourself is good; but to love as Jesus loved as -- that’s a whole nutha’ level.

"This is how the world will know you are my disciples." Not church programs, not good preaching, not your theological arguments, not your events, not your worship music ministry, which are all good -- but how you love one another.

It is reported that in the 2nd century AD pagans were saying of Christians, ‘See how they love one another!’” (Bruce)

Love is important to Jesus. I know that’s not new to you guys.

But the hurts we experience at the hands of other people -- intentionally or unintentionally -- tend to become a far greater focus than does our focus on obeying this command.

HOLY HAPPINESS LEADS TO LOVE LEADS TO MORE HOLY HAPPINESS

Today we’re going to explore the relationship of love to our joy, and joy to love. Because I think that relationship is often neglected. And, therefore, it weakens our joy.

We already made the case from weeks 1 and 2 that holy happiness is required in order to love others in the way that God calls us to. We said in week 1 that holy happiness begins with awe of God. Our awe of God leads us to be able to love others without needing them to make us happy.

But I want to make the case today that love is also kindling for holy happiness. 

In order to burn up sticks, a spark is needed. A fire is needed. You don’t just put sticks in a fire pit and they burn up. You need a fire. Having people in your life doesn’t mean you will love them; you need the fire that comes from happiness in God. Awe of god.

But once the fire is lit, the fire needs wood - kindling -- to keep going.

To love, we need holy happiness. But love is also kindling to increase our holy happiness and keep it going.

Some of us today are struggling with happiness, and we think it’s because others are not loving us properly. And I want to challenge that. Challenge you: Love is the kindling for happiness.

If you're focusing so much on the fact that you're not being loved, not only is that stopping you from loving better, but I would argue that it is stealing your happiness.

Let’s examine what Jesus said just a short while later at that Last Supper:

John 15

9 Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love. 10 If you keep My commandments, you will abide in My love; just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and abide in His love. 11 These things I have spoken to you so that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full. 12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

In v. 11 Jesus said, “These things I have spoken to you so that MY joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full.” My joy -- the out-of-this-world, holy joy that is in me -- can be in YOU guys. I want it to be in you guys. That’s why I told you these things.

What things? Well ,it’s a lot of things that he has been talking about at the last supper, this final discourse.

But the last thing he focuses on is here in verses 9-10: 

"Abide in my love." Stay in it. Don’t leave my love. Don’t run away from my love. Don’t think you don’t need my love.

Well, how do we abide in your love, Jesus?

"If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love." If you obey me, you will remain in my love.

Follow so far?

Jesus wants us to have His joy.

The way to do that is to remain in his love.

The way to remain in his love is to obey his commands.

Okay. Like which ones?

Well, like this one:

12 “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you.

Jesus wants us to have His joy.

The way to do that is to remain in his love.

The way to remain in his love is to obey his commands.

Specifically, his command to love one another, just as he has loved us.

This is why I say that Love is the kindling of holy happiness

Notice what Jesus does not say. He doesn’t say: "I want your joy to be full, so only love those who reciprocate that love."

See in our natural hearts we think I need a full tank in order to love others. I need other people to make some love deposits first.

But in God’s economy -- he has loved us and filled up our tanks, and as we step out to love others, our tanks are continually refilled.

It’s remembering his love ("as I have loved you") -- then stepping out in faith to abide in his love by loving others, trusting that we will expreience an exgra dose of his love as we do.

In other words, loving others is an act of trust in Jesus’ love. We may not feel like it’s in our tank, but as we step out in faith to love others, we are abiding in his love.

Love is the kindling of holy happiness.

Add more sticks to the fire of joy in God by loving.

Since my girls started going to pre-school, I often ask them when I drop them off: what is your job today? It's to love people. That’s your main job. Love the other kids.

In my love for them I don't want them focusing on how others can love them better, but on how they can love others. Because it’s the pathyway to holy joy. I love them too much to enable them to focus primarily on being loved by others. 

But what is love? What does it look like? How can you love those who hurt you? What about boundaries? What about the difference between forgiveness and trust? 

POKING AROUND

We’re going to poke around a little bit to see if the Holy Spirit highlights in your heart some ways for you to love particular people in your life better, thus adding kindling to the fire of your joy in Christ.You know how when you go to the doctor’s for a check-up, and they poke around, knock on things, prick things, to see where you go “ow, that hurt. That’s sensitive. That’s tender.” We’re going to go through a check-list, if you will, on love. The check-list found in 1 Corinthians 13. It’s the most detailed chapter of the bible on love.

And perhaps you will realize, Ah, my holy happiness has a blockage because I am refusing to love someone in this particular way.

Maybe.

1 Corinthians 13 - as many of you know is often referred to as the love chapter. It’s often read at weddings, but it’s not specifically about marriage. Paul is writing to the church at Corinth who have been divided on a whole host of issues. Who baptized who, gifts of the spirit, who owes who money……

And in a passage about the gifts of the spirit, he stops to focus on love: 

1 Corinthians 13

If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

The Corinthians had been guilty of using -- pursuing - spiritual gifts with a prideful “look at me compared to everyone" else kind of attitude.

Paul says that without love it’s worthless. It’s nothing. It’s a noisy gong. Without love.

You ever walk by someone on the street preaching with a loudspeaker? And they just sound like a noisy gong? Making a bunch of noise? It’s missing something.

That thing is love.

But what is love?

Our culture at large makes love out to be about feelings. The church - by and large -- has said no, it’s about sacrifice. Self-denial. Like Jesus sacrificed for us. 

But look at what Paul said next:

3 And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.

Wait, you can give -- sacrifice -- all your possessions to feed the poor and it still not be love? You can die the death of a martyr but still not have love? 

It seems that love includes sacrifice, but sacrifice does not necessarily = love.

Then what is love, Paul?

Let’s keep reading.

4 Love is patient and kind;

Other versions say longsuffering instead of patience. Cause that's what patience is -- a willingness to suffer over time for someone else. Kind  - benevolence and tenderness. A kind person is disposed to help others and to do so with sympathy and consideration.

Put together -- it’s suffering alongside someone else’s weaknesses, blind spot, faults, limitations with sympathy and tenderness.

Sometimes when I am about to go for a run my three yearr old wants to come with me. You know what that means? It means we’re going for a fast walk for about 5 minutes.

She slows me down. But patience and kindness mean I go at her pace, and don’t complain in my head about it. I enjoy going at her pace because I put her above the run.

Is there someone you need to be more patient and kind with?  Someone who you need to value more than you value the job getting done, the project being finished, time in front of the tv, whatever?

love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude.

Envy is not just wanting what someone else has -- it’s wanting it and thinking they should not have it. I should have that! The opposite of envy is.....wait for it.....

Being happy for someone else.  

Instead of thinking, I should have that -- job, spouse, kid, lifestyle, vacation -- I’m happy that she has it. 

So you see, love includes -- requires -- being happy for someone else’s happiness and blessings. It finds joy in someone else’s joy.

So love is more than just doing something for someone. It requires joy in our sacrifice in order to be love.

Often times being boastful comes in the form of boasting to ourselves, in our own heads. meditating on how much I am doing compared to how much someone else is doing….as married spouses tend to do: ”I’m always the one taking out the trash…..” or as church leaders tend to do: ”I’m the only one who really cares here."

Complaining about others, I would argue, is a form of boasting. We complain about people who are guilty of things that we don’t think we would ever be guilty of, as if we are better than them.

At its root is pride. Pride is the opposite of Awe of God. Remember from week 1? Pride is awe of Self. How can he not be like me? What an idiot!  

Arrogant or rude. Are you rude? Do you have to dominate every conversation? Do you always have to insert your two cents into every discussion cause you think you’re the most valuable player? Do you interrupt others in group discussions? Or shoot down their ideas right away? 

It’s rude. It’s an indicator that our joy is not in the Lord, but in being seen a certain way, in being important, in doing it my way. 

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

If we are insisting on our own way, then -- becasue other people have this tendency to get in the way of our way -- we are prone to be irratable quite often. Irritable could also be translated easily-angered, easy offended, or touchy.

It is also an indicator that we have lost our awe of God and put it on ME. He didn’t call ME back. She didn’t give ME the attention I deserved.

Resentful - an easily-offended person has a tendency to be resentful, which means they keep a record of another person’s wrongs.  They meditate on that list of wrongs. They recit it to themselves in the shower, they share that list with others, they carry grudges.

 I was reading about a tribe in Polynesia where it was customary for each man to keep some reminders of his hatred for others. These reminders were suspended from the roofs of their huts to keep alive the memory of the wrongs, real or imagined.

Do you cling to reminders of the wrongs done to you? Big wrongs? And small? Is there anyone that you need to forgive?

See we think that the solution to our unhappiness - unahppiness that we feel came from others doing us wrong -- is justice. the person paying for their wrongs.

But it’s a lie. A lie that Satan puts in our heads. 

The bible tells us "Love is the way to abide in Jesus' love so that our joy is made full, and one way to love is to let go of the record of wrongs that others have done. Get it out of your head. Because it’s stealing your happiness." 

Love is the kindling of Holy Happiness

 To finish off this passage: 

6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

 Bears all things: bears coule also be translated covers.  Instead of pointing the finger vindictively at someone's weaknesses or issues, love covers over it. It doesn't define a person by their weakest traits, but upholds their value. 

And it covers over how many things? 

Most things? Most people’s issues. A good degree of annoyance?

That word all is the greek word Pas. 

 And unfortunately it means....All. Everything.

 Love bears with everything. Every kind of issue, it bears with.

DOES THIS MEAN I AM TO BE A DOORMAT? 

Now you might say -- so does that mean I become a doormat to other peoples’ sins? 

First off, was Jesus a doormat becasue he gave his life? No, he said "nobody takes my life; I lay it down." 

Secondly, I would argue that a doormat is someone who, out of fear of others -- not love of others -- allow those folks to sin against them repeatedly. 

See when Paul said in . 6 that love "does not rejoice in wrong-doing but rejoices in the truth" -- he’s saying that love is not tolerant of sin. Corinth was a city with a lot of pagan idol-worshipping immoral practices, and the church had been tolerating some guy who was sleeping with his step-mother (see 1 Cor. 6). 

Paul says -- "No, that’s not love. That's rejoicing in wrong-doing." Staying in an abusive relationship or enablig an addict is neither healthy to you nor is it loving to the abuser or addict.

The abuser is not just sinning against you, he’s sinning against God. To enable that sin against God is to be unloving towards that person. He has no happiness in God. He needs his sin brought to light, he needs an intervention; love means we rejoice in the truth - that Jesus is Lord and sin must be dealt with.

But at the same time, love does not give up on the person: 

Love beleivers all things, hopes all things, endures all things: Even when faced with the worse, it does not give up on someone, but beleivers that God can do the impossible in them. It doesn’t say “She will never change, he will never change. It will be like this forever”

Regardless of their struggles, issues, vices and running, God can transform them, save them, rescue them, and fill them to where they are happy in Him. 

Love is the Kindling of Holy Happiness

And Love is sacrifice motivated by joy in another’s Holy Happiness.  

Love doesn't want to satisfy another's seflish happiness, but does seek to satisfy their holy happiness. This is how Jesus loved us.  The book of Hebrews tells us that he didin’t die for us out of begrundg submission to the Father, or with bitterness or envy toward us, but: 

Hebrews 12:2

For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

What joy? The joy of accomplishing our redemption.

As we remember his love for us -- and the price he paid to love us -- with joy - freeing us to find our holy happiness in God -- may we be filled with a renewed awe of Him and his love. And then may that awe -- that joy - spill out onto each other in love.