The following is an excerpt from one of Serrene's blogs. To read it in its entirety, or to check out other posts, click here: ImmovableRock.org

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The one thing I’ve come to realize as a Christian is, even though Jesus’ Holy Spirit lives in me, I’m not immune to rogue thoughts that take my mind off of God (Romans 7:21-23). Romans 12:2, tell us to renew our minds. The problem is how do you make way for the new stuff, when it’s hard to get rid of the old stuff? As a Christian, I’ve experienced the type of sick and twisted thoughts that never crossed my mind as an unbeliever. The bible says capture every thought and submit it to God (2 Corinthians 10:5), but no one tells you how difficult it is to set traps for thoughts. Sometimes thoughts throw punches in bunches. Thoughts are slippery, fast little critters, and before you know it your mind is wandering. I found myself running out of breath trying to catch up with rogue thoughts—putting out all the fires my sinful nature caused. The reality is, it takes time in God’s word, coupled with persistent prayer, and Godly advice to train ourselves to be Godly (1 Timothy 4:7-8) (Hebrews 5:14) (Philippians 4:6-7).

If I’m being honest with myself, there was a time in my Christian walk with God, when I tried to ignore the Apostle Paul’s epistles. I gave in to the negative voices in my head. I didn’t want to box up and store away my musical talent. I felt restless. I wanted to be a rap star, and I believed my time was running out. I wanted to be seen as competitive in the music industry, and that meant pushing the envelope. That meant I needed to have grit, and swagger to compete in an urban environment. That meant I’d have to tap into the old me. Opening the door to my old self meant, tons of unwholesome talk would be flying out of my mouth (Ephesians 4:29). I wanted celebrity stardom. I wanted to be told I was an awesome rap artist. This was a low point in my life when I wasn’t totally interested in the covering of Christ. I wanted to be layered in the type of clothes that represented the accolades of the world.

If I’m being honest, sometimes it’s hard to share the good news about Jesus, when my Jesus super-suit feels like its glitching. Sometimes, it hard to look Christ-like when you feel self-conscious, like there’s chinks, cracks, and breaks in your full armor of God(Ephesians 6:10-11), and everyone can see it.

If I’m being nitpicky, sometimes I feel like Jesus had it easy. He could pay His taxes with fish (Matthew 17:24-27). I on the other hand, owe more money on my student loans then I make in a year. Not to mention, I feel like I got duped into a bad situation, and now I’m underwater on my mortgage. Jesus didn’t have traffic issues. He bypassed boat congestion by walking on water (Matthew 14:24-25). Jesus might have rode on a slow donkey, but everybody got out of His way like He was a state trooper coming up behind you on the highway(Matthew 21:6-9). I’m always stuck in traffic, and sometimes it takes me 3 hours to get home from work. I sure could use a palm branch escort Jesus.

It took awhile for me to understand that God has rigged the game of life in our favor (Romans 8:31,38-39) (Isaiah 8:10) (Isaiah 41:10) (1 John 4:4). I had to realize that Jesus’ situation was tailor made for Him to be victorious (Luke 24:25-27) (Acts 2:23-24) (Isaiah 53:10-11) (Isaiah 46:10) ) (Habakkuk 2:12-14). Sometimes when we focus on everything that’s going wrong, we miss out on, or minimize all the positives. I have to remind myself that God is in control of my situation, and He has tailor made it for me to be victorious(1 Corinthians 15:57) (1 Corinthians 2:7)(Hebrews 12:1) (Romans 8:29) (Ephesians 1:4-5) (1 Peter 1:2) (Revelations 7:9-10). Jesus’ dependence was not in Himself, it was in the One who could rescue Him out of the mess humanity created for Him (Hebrews 5:7) (Isaiah 53:5). My situation is not dependent on my abilities, but on the abilities of Christ (Hebrews 12:2). He’s the one who could get me out of the mess I made for myself.

When I was being honest with myself, when I allowed rogue thoughts to drown out God’s voice, and when my thirst for stardom was stronger than my cravings for Christ I realized I had detached from reality. My problem was, I wasn’t taking my spiritual medicine, or better yet, I wasn’t properly calibrating the dosage for the spiritual challenges before me. You see, I’m sick; I suffer from a disease called sin. The only medicine I know powerful enough to relieve some of the symptoms is God’s word. The funny thing is, I thought I could just get by, by reading the bible and doing nothing else. In my mind, I was taking a portion of the medicine God prescribed for me, and that should be enough. In actuality, I was in a spiritual limbo.  I wasn’t too far gone, that I totally fit in with the way the world does things, yet I wasn’t submitting to God’s will for my life. During this period, God kept ministering to me with Romans 9:16. He kept telling me that my desires or efforts to achieve stardom/fame will not supersede His will. In other words, the more I wanted to do things my way, the more I did everything in my power to try and force it to happen. Nevertheless, God said if He doesn’t make it happen, it won’t happen (Psalm 127:1) (Leviticus 26:19-21) (Isaiah 49:4).

In Hebrews, God equates disobedience with unrest (anxiousness, frustration, disappointment (Hebrews 3:8-10)(Hebrews 3:18)(Hebrews 4:11). Jesus associates obedience with rest. The Greek word for rest is anapauo, and it means to soothe, to refresh, and to take a break from your labor. Jesus is offering the type of peaceful contentment that only God can give you (Hebrews 4:2-3)(Isaiah 32:17-18). God began to give me spiritual rest when I was consistent in dropping to my knees and praying for God’s mercy. God gave me purpose and renewed my fervor for Him when my face was in a prone position giving praise to His name on a daily basis. From that point forward, God unlocked a lot of my prayers and started answering them.

One day, as I was praising Him with my face to the ground, all the bad things I’ve ever done in my life flashed before me. The one thing I kept hearing in the back of my mind was, “for the sake of my praise I withheld my wraith (Isaiah 48:9).”

I found my balance in reading God’s word daily–followed by praying to Him on my knees—then completing my worship with my face to the ground, in reverence giving Him praise.