About six months ago my friend from college suggested we all begin fasting together on Thursdays. I had fasted with True Life on Thursdays in the past and, wanting to renew that commitment anyway, it felt like God's leading. Previously, when I had fasted I had abstained from radio shows and music in the car. I had a long commute at the time so it was a true sacrifice and some days were more “successful” than others. Now with these friends, I wrestled with what to give up... some days it was bits and pieces of social media, some days I justified checking my phone “for one thing” because I listened to worship music on my commute... this renewed attempt at fasting felt very different. I couldn’t stay focused and some days I felt like I hadn’t even really replaced anything with true prayer and time spent with God.

In his book "The Common Rule" Justin Whitmel Earley talks about how fasting reveals who we really are. This was really my true self for sure: impatient, wishy washy and self excusing. But God has still been at work. I have seen Him answer some of our requests that same day in powerful ways. I’ve seen Him say no. And there are still things we pray for each Thursday six months into this joint endeavor. But I have learned not only valuable things about myself, but that God wants to be close to me and know me even as this practice reveals how much of a sinner I really am.

It’s obvious that we all need to draw near to God right now with the state of the world and each of our hearts. I would encourage you that that won’t necessarily look how we want it to or think it should. But that doesn’t mean that God doesn’t see us right where we are and intercedes on our behalf as well. In the book of 1 Samuel, Hannah was praying in a manner that Eli saw her and thought she was drunk. Isn’t that all of us right now? Shouting our requests and needs to God so rapidly and disjointedly that we don’t even know if we make sense? But it’s exactly the relationship we have with God and the exact place fasting leads us to.

Surrender your full heart to God through fasting, mess and all. He loves us and meets us right where we are.